I will find a crowd and blend in for a minute

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The Mountain Goats – Get Lonely

A second finding is that adult TCKs are also somewhat out of synch in aspects of their lives outside of education. Throughout their lifetimes there are subtle differences between them and the American generation that came into adulthood in the same historical period. Not being like their peers is usually of great import (and sometimes extremely painful) in the late teens and twenties, but it is of lessening centrality with increasing age.

How long does it take for TCKs to become adjusted to American life? The majority of our adult TCKs, including those over 65, report mild to severe difficulties with what has been called “re-entry problems” or “reverse culture shock.”

This area is rich in literature and a number of reorientation programs have been established by overseas schools, the organizations which sponsor the parents abroad, and international centers of colleges and universities. The programs help the young people through the transition to living in the U.S.

The answer to the question of how long it takes them to adjust to American life is: they never adjust. They adapt, they find niches, they take risks, they fail and pick themselves up again. They succeed in jobs they have created to fit their particular talents, they locate friends with whom they can share some of their interests, but they resist being encapsulated. Their camouflaged exteriors and understated ways of presenting themselves hide the rich inner lives, remarkable talents, and often strongly held contradictory opinions on the world at large and the world at hand.

[TCKWorld / Get Lonely.]

The Jigsaw Jam

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Flicker on, flicker on like a train at night. [The Jigsaw Jam.]

The soft spot on a piece of fruit

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Craig Finn – Not Much Left Of Us

I saw my sixth grade teacher today. She has cancer now. Has for a while. I haven’t seen or talked to her for a decade and a half.

She was shuffling through the mall, green shawl tied around her bald head, leaning heavily on her husband. He’s some 10 years her junior and has always carried a boyish energy. Now graying, face drooping, his gait still bounces – heels eager to leave the earth. He was smiling oddly. Like he was proud to be parading around his wife, or maybe proud to be showing her the world which has become increasingly his own domain whereas hers is the dimly lit living room, a damp cloth on her forehead, or Lysoled hospital halls.

I didn’t stop them. What does one say to someone dying of cancer? Besides, I didn’t want to take out my headphones mid-song. “There’s not much left of us. The part that remains is rotten and bruised, the soft spot on a piece of fruit.”

[Clear Heart Full Eyes.]

What comes after this momentary bliss?

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Beach House – Myth

Swag is a particular performance of masculinity, a style of cockiness that can be traced back to the classic, white masculine swagger of someone like John Wayne. In modern times however, swag is more associated with the dominant pose of urban black men, who, through hip-hop and other cultural forms, have influenced expressions of masculinity amongst non-blacks as well. Swag, in other words, is the product of a deeply American merry-go-round of racial posturing and borrowing.

It’s also a defining but contested attribute of the modern NBA. When the league enforces dress codes amongst the players or when fans complain about “too many tattoos” on the court, these are essentially reactions to swag, which is to say, reactions to the perception of an excess of blackness. When columnists like The Daily Beast’s Buzz Bissinger discussed the NBA’s “race problem,” this is what they used to mean… at least B.L. (Before Lin).

For Asian American men, the fact that Lin exhibits swag is important because it validates a desire to lay claim to the conventional masculinity that many feel has long been denied them. Emasculation is a long-standing, dominant trope in pop culture representations of Asian and Asian American men; suffice to say, it is a tricky and conflicted subject, something that could — and has — filled books. Therefore, for those Asian American men who feel like masculinity is a club that everyone else has membership to, someone like Lin is a godsend, not just because he’s performed well in the NBA — one of the grand stages of contemporary American masculinity — but because he’s done so with swag. Those displays, such as wagging a blue Gatorade-tinged tongue after hitting a big three vs. the Jazz, confirms he’s “one of us,” not the kind of emotionless, inscrutable figure seen in so many Orientalist caricatures. This is an irrational fear anyway; Lin grew up in the Asian American Mecca of the Bay Area, he’s told interviewers his favorite player growing up was Latrell Spreewell, and even if his favorite groups are mostly Christian rap and rock artists, at least he likes hip-hop. But it’s not just enough for him to tell people this; swag is showing it.

[LA Review Of Books / Bloom.]

When attack is your only defense

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Mercy me

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I’m alive, except for the inside

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Craig Finn – No Future

I find realization through coitus. Through [the] conjugal I am angelic somehow.

The only problem is the navigation of two vastly different psychological states — the pre-ejaculatory male psychology and the post-ejaculatory male psychology. I’m a different person after I’ve cum.

Before I cum, I’m kind of saucy, filthy, dirty, animal-man thing. I’ll do it out. ‘Yeah, let’s get lost together; let’s become one. We are the flesh! Try the sewing machine, the anaconda, and introducing: the matrix. They’re all there. I’m going to make you hear color. I’m going to make you see sound. We’re going to die tonight!’

Then after I cum it’s like, ‘Oh my god what have I done?’ A sense of profound existential angst. A sense of loss. The idea that somehow I’ve let my mum down.

And that is why I’m baffled by the British phenomena of seagulling. Seagulling is a craze — if we can call it such — in British schools where post-(evidently)-adolescent boys, post-pubescent boys masturbate and then ejaculate into their own cupped hand, go up to a school friend or a teacher, and say “SEAGULLING.” [*Makes flicking/flinging motion with hand*]

Now I’ll be the first to admit that that is bad manners.

But that is not what intrigues me. I am intrigued by their ability to navigate these undulating psychological states. How can a schoolboy get from the pre-ejaculatory psychology to the post — such a tumultuous, undulating, unsure terrain? I can’t cope with it [and] I’m a man; he’s just a boy. How do they do that? How can they cope with that profound journey? How can a boy — a boy! — be masturbating and think ‘fucking hell, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum, oh fuck me, ungh, I’m gonna fucking cum, *orgasm sounds*’, [pause] ‘one day I will die’, [pause] ‘SEAGULLING’?

[Russell Brand / Clear Heart Full Eyes.]

Fill your pockets up with earth

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Tom Waits – Singapore

Somewhere in Singapore, lost forever, likely crumpled and vomit encrusted in some cranny of an overpriced hostel one stop along the purple MRT line away from Dhoby Ghaut, is my best shirt. [Rain Dogs.]

I’ve got to be strong

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Retribution Gospel Choir – I’m a Man

My tongue burns easier than most. I consider this a deficiency.

The Revolution EP, free:

Go drink beer with the guys

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Beyonce Knowles – If I Were A Boy

Brazilian Ramalho spent three days in bed after swallowing a pill he had been prescribed for a dental infection. It was a suppository.

Milan Rapaic missed the start of the 1995-96 season for Hajduk Split. He jabbed his eye with a boarding pass at the airport. Norway defender Svein Grondalen ran into a moose jogging near his house. Bryan Robson lifted a bed Paul Gascoigne was in and dropped it on his toe, missing the 1990 World Cup with the subsequent injury.

Both Thierry Henry and Marco Tardelli injured themselves when the corner flag bounced back and hit their faces. Manchester City’s Shaun Goater kicked an advertising board to celebrate a goal by Nicholas Anelka and hurt his foot. Arsenal reserve Perry Groves jumped up to celebrate a goal and knocked himself unconscious by hitting his head in the dugout.

David James, Carlo Cudicini and David Seaman (and Robbie Keane) have all suffered reaching-for-the-remote-knack. On separate fishing trips, James and Seaman were both injured reeling in large catches. (Make your own surname or catching-ability pun.) Cudicini’s obligatory animal-related injury came while walking his dog.

A sheepdog ended the career of Brentford goalkeeper Chic Brodie. In October 1970 he shattered a kneecap when he ran into the furry pitch-invader. “The dog might have been a small one, but it just happened to be a solid one,” he said.

Boys. [Goal.com / I Am . . . Sasha Fierce.]