The brand engraving on my shower-head says “Oxygenics”, which makes me think of cryogenics and that makes me nervous to take showers, so I stand only facing away from the taps. When it comes to washing my front I retreat backwards through the spray like it’s a waterfall.
It’s like peek-a-boo from when you were two years old and had no developed concept of object permanence: if I can’t see it, it’s not there. It’s not happening. I will not be frozen in a dreamless deathlike state.
I once tried showering with Sam, but he wanted me to face the shower-head and even though I stared at the soap scum between the tiles instead of the engraved “Oxygenics”, I was waiting for the steam to turn to fog and the water to start jetting out liquid nitrogen and for us to freeze in our places oh god like blue statues in a frozen rain.
I have my water scalding, so when I shove back the curtain and try not to slip on the bathroom tiles, I’m lobster-red and slightly puffy all over. I once got out of a shower and realised that my whole face was completely dry, just staring back at me in the mirror, lobster-red and slightly puffy all over.