Moonface – Teary Eyes And Bloody Lips
The last several pickup lines used (unsuccessfully) on Maya, an attractive German lady currently staying at my house, during her travels across the hostels and guesthouses of Southeast Asia:
“Do you want to kiss me?”
“You have dirty fingernails.” “Yeah, I know.” “I can cut them for you if you want.”
“Do you want to drink a beer with me? No? Well do you want to be my girlfriend for tonight?”
“I decided I want to have sex with you.”
(Clarifying note because apparently Britt thinks I’m a disgusting slimeball of impressive testicular fortitude: I used, and can imagine thinking up, none of these lines.)