Broadcast – Tears In The Typing Pool
Can we just talk about all of our bad qualities? You should know.
“I am selfish with food and with things, and I spend more money on the most luxurious food than anything else, I starve myself away from everything else, I routinely snip people out of my life if I feel like they aren’t understanding me and I don’t make an effort to be understood, or do I? I hoard things and my apartment and purse are overflowing with receipts and trash and bottles, I’m narcissistic and I’m condemning and I call everyone out but refuse to take anything from them and I brood and cry and I’m never able to escape my emotions and if I hold it in all day I let it out destructively at home and when I’m good I’m great and when I’m bad I’m awful and I buy a lot of things sometimes and then I will threaten myself with death because I will feel so stupid and I judge people based on how they view animals and how they treat their pets and I am enlisted as the supportive friend of those who want to stand on me and I let them and I resent myself for it, and I will be unforgiving if someone leaves me but I can leave without care, and so I’m a hypocrite and I break things when shit goes wrong and I will never tell anyone what I really want out of life and I don’t ever put the lids back on things and I tear open bags the wrong way and open boxes upside down and leave a trail of mess everywhere and I never do the dishes and I am patient with everyone but not myself. I have high standards where I should be accommodating and no standards where I should have more self respect, I guess. How can I know these things? How stupid for me to say them. It’s trash, this is such trash!!!!! I’m a good person.”
Did I write this? I feel like this is me.